Competitive

Okay so I found a hospital this summer to volunteer at for when I was starting school. I wasn't old enough but my birthday is coming up soon so I am now. What really pisses me off as that I told my friend I was going too and now she wants to do it too. I guess you could say life isn't fair or I'm being a selfish bitch but I feel incredibly competitive, pissed, and jealous. I was researching all summer for this and was waiting until I was the right age to do it and she can just do it immediately because of me helping her. To top it all off she's also doing an internship with apple and is trying to be all competitive with me now. I really wanted to just go to this hospital and help people. To be someone who can do something for her community. She wants to do this because she wants to be a pharmisicist which I suppose make senses but...I'm so mad right now. Have you ever had that crazy feeling? Where you just get mad for no reason? I'm incredibly jealous now. I've never felt more furious.

New Friends

Okay so I went to the freshmen orientation. It was fun I guess but I was to shy and awkward to make any friends. AND I have no classes with any of my friends or lunch! What am I gonna do, I'm to awkward, and my personality is just outright weird, I can't make friends. And I really wanna make this club but I'm so scared people won't join. I tried out for this athletic team and got in but I quit 'cause it just wasn't working out socially and I always felt awkward and stuff, they were all nice enough and all but I don't know I just didn't know what to say. Maybe I'm just that awkward or something. Anyway I don't know I hate feeling just so quiet and awkward... I really hope I have the guts to talk this freshmen year. Like Lemonade mouth said," I don't just wanna be a face in the yearbook."
Sincerely,
Secretly Shy

Offense Taken

Okay so I made this video for a friend of mine of me playing piano to one of his favorite anime songs. And he watched it and the first words he said were,"No offense." I knew immediately that it would be offensive. I mean why do people bother saying that to the other person. If your saying something like that obviously the other persons gonna take offense. Anyways the dude said I was playing too slow and I guess I was but I'm still kinda depressed by that XD. Guess I'm a bit too emotional and dramatic I suppose :p. Anyways it hurt so like ouch and stuff. Aha it's not even high school yet and already I'm just sitting here writing in it. Well uhm bai I guess :).

Freak Out

Okay Diary this isn't quite Day 1 of high school but this is the summer where I'm freaking out about it. Here's the thing, near the end of jr. high I asked this guy out. And I don't know why or how I guess you could call it a brain fart (or idiotic teenage hormones). I don't plan on mentioning the guys name. I'll just call him, he-who's-name-must-not-be-spoken (yes I'm a big hp fan diary get over it >.< XD) anyways I asked him out online (big mistake I know, but a mistake I'll never make again) and I got turned down. Oh he turned me down nicely enough. It was afterwards there was the big problem. He started saying I scared him at school and avoiding me. I just went back and acted like ordinary me but he started acting different. I obviously ignored him or acted like it never existed treating him like a normal classmate (obviously I was hurt and incredibly humiliated) but he started telling all his friends I was scary or annoying and stuff. And when people in class insult me, the ordinary dweeb I try not to let it show, but obviously diary it hurts. Hurts like a bitch :P. ANYWAYS I'm freaking out about what if we get in the same class because that would be incredibly awkward seeing how I haven't even told my two best friends yet. And their like my VERY bestest friends. I'm not gonna say their names for privacy reasons so I'll just give them code names (actually I'm calling them by their nicknames but close enough XD). Pookie and Pandoo. Anyways I haven't told anyone about this humiliating incident and I had to let it out somewhere so I decided why not here? In my online diary. Anyways if he's in my class I don't know what I'm gonna do. I was hoping when I started high school no one would know me. I wouldn't be that annoying girl. I'm perfectly content with being some girl that never talks unless spoken too. Honestly I'm just hoping I get all new classmates and I never meet He-Who's-Name-Must-Not-Be-Spoken again. :P Kkz bai, peace, cya later diary.
Sincerely,
Freaked Out, Dramatic Chica
P.S: I honestly don't know why I asked him out since I don't even wanna date or anything yet honestly I'm a bit too young ya know? I'm one of those hopeless romantics with their nose like always in a book when their not at school. Or always on the computer. :P ANYWAYS YEAH SO STILL FREAKING OUT 'CAUSE I'M THE IDIOT THAT ASKED HIM OUT >.>

Why I'm Making This

I'm making this for one reason. To find out if high school, really is that overrated. I've seen movies about it and have read about it but it's now time for me to find out. This is gonna be about me, my life, and what it's like for a socially awkward dweeb to enter the cruel and harsh worlds of high school. :)